I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
