idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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