McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
