I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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