Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
