Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
