Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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