Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
