If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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