I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
