You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
