If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
