Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
