She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize