Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
