Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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