if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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