Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
