He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
