Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
