FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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