Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize