He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
