You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Even my vagina gasped.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
