Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
