You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
