If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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