The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
