If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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