lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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