is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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