i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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