Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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