she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
