dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well you can't waste a boner
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
