If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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