in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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