dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
