yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
