yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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