You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
