Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
