Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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