Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
