This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
