Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
