Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
