i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
