Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
