So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
