When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
