i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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