He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
