yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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