She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my liver is dry heaving
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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