9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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