I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
