used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
