is your mom at the bar?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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