I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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