Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
