We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
