When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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