he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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