Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
