You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
